elcome slightly less-motivated readers! Just today I'm going to be filling in for Tony and this update we're going to cover some of the exercises overlooked by most "professional" athletes. Since getting off active duty alot of you hard chargin' Devil Dogs have been busy building up that new civilian physique. I know it can get discouraging when you're not getting the kind of support your were hoping for from negative individuals such as your former Marine buddies, family and wife but don't despair. Once they see the commitment and effort you're putting into your new bod, they'll leave you alone completely!
Let's start our "Civilian Workout" with diet. While you were enlisted, all the food you were consuming was getting burned away running PT's and other workout programs. Your body never got a chance to really enjoy what you were putting into it! Luckily though, that problem is behind you. Civilian Life means maximum consumption and minimal physical exertion.
My first rule of thumb is to go heavy on the fried foods. Not only does it taste better than the alternative but it contains almost quadruple the fat and calories. It's a great way of tonin' down quick. Also keep in mind that many traditional foods that can be deep-fried, such as salad, are often not listed on a typical restaurant's menu. Ask your server and nine times out of ten, they'll accomodate you.
In addition to the "fried" rule, donšt underestimate how many uses you can get out of butter, nature's favorite fruit. A bowl of melted butter is a great dipping sauce for fried chicken and for that sweet tooth, take a stick of butter, wrap an apple caramel wrap around it and put it in the fridge for 1 hour for a great, late night snack. Mmmm-mmmm!!
Next we'll tackle your workout schedule. Probably my biggest pet-peev is someone who walks all the way out to the end of his driveway to check the mail. I mean, come on! That's what you have a car for. Over the course of a week, that twenty-foot trip burns almost fifteen calories! You're only going to cheat yourself if you donšt pay attention to the little day to day things. It's also a good idea to have a couple bags of beef jerky and chips in your glove compartment in case of emergencies when you can't get to a fast food place quickly.
Over the course of your day, try and move as slowly as possible and snack whenever you get the opportunity. If your place of business doesn't allow eating at your desk, try squirreling some away in a good hiding place in the restroom. While the walk to the restroom itself is somewhat counterproductive, choosing a high-fat snack to hide should more than make up for the trip.
After you get home it's important to get out of your restrictive work attire and into something that will allow you the freedom to breathe easier as your body adjusts to its new appearance. Keeping some sweat pants and a large t-shirt at the door will let you quickly change without having to go upstairs. At this point you need to plan out the rest of your evening carefully. A poor strategy could mean having to repeatedly get up, requiring you to expend valuable energy and considerable effort. My suggestion is to use the bathroom facilities first followed by a supply mission to the kitchen. This way you start off the night with a clean slate, so to speak.
Stocking up in the kitchen could arguably be the most important part of your day. Done correctly, you should be able to gather up everything you'll need until it's time to hit the sack. The truly serious will have eliminated anything green or vegetable-related from the house already. Fruits and vegetables are some of the largest foods out there taking up valuable refrigerator and cupboard space.
When it comes to your beverage, I can't recommend beer strongly enough. Pound for pound, it's the civilian athlete's choice. Adding plenty of bread and pasta to your meal will help soak up most of the beer you consume for the next several hours negating the "full bladder syndrome". And keep in mind, as I stated earlier, don't forget to fry! My motto is, "If it ainšt fried, you ainšt tried!" With a little effort and the right amount of vegetable oil, therešs very little food you can't deep-fry.
After gathering up your edibles for the night, pick a comfortable spot on the couch and settle in. Make sure that you've got the remote before sitting down though or you'll start that vicious cycle of getting up I warned you about. Keep some straws handy for your beer. This will make it easier to move as little as possible by eliminating the arm movement required to get the can/bottle to your lips.
After finishing off the last of your food and drink and "vegging" for several hours, have a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter or cake icing before heading off to bed. Take advantage of your body's slowest metabolism period. You'll thank yourself later. And that's it! Within a couple weeks that grotesque, hard, angular Marine body will start to give way to the new softer, rounder civilian shape you've worked so diligently towards. You've earned it.
Well that's it from me. Happy Late April Fool's Day and OO-RAH!